What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 03.07.2025 00:09
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Who are some of the darkest skinned actors in Hollywood?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
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At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Why do flat Earthers exist? Why can’t I see the Sun at night? Is it because Earth is not flat?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.